Day 46 - Easter Sunday

I love that He appeared to women first.   I love that He said              ' Careful, don't touch - Im not dry yet.'  😊  I love that He walked through walls just because He could.  The risen Jesus is truly wonderful.  I wish I had been there to see Him.

One day I shall see Him.  And I shall know Him better than I have ever known anyone.  I shall bask in His glory, worship Him forever and rejoice in His goodness eternally.  This is the chief end of man and my ultimate destiny.   Yours too,

Happy Easter  xxx

Day 45 - crucifixion

Jesus was naked.  He was beaten to a pulp such that he was barely recognisable as a human being.   He was hanging alongside dozens, if not hundreds of others in the heat of the day - some of those people had been there for three of four days.  The crowds were gathered because this was a public spectacle - people were shouting and laughing and wailing and crying.  Vultures will no doubt have been circling.  There were flies by the thousand.  People were passing by going about their daily business barely paying any attention to what was a common sight.  Others were standing around in

groups trying to offer comfort, water, food to those who were being crucified.  Roman soldiers were moving amongst the people keeping an eye out for any unrest and stopping those who would attempt to get too close to the condemned.  They were taking delivery of nails and rope ready for the next batch of prisoners to arrive.  Dogs and small children running around.  Donkeys braying and people arguing.  It was far from the scene we so often associate with that day - three crosses on a deserted hillside.

Into this chaos the sins of the world came creeping.  Every rape, murder, theft and act of brutality since the beginning of time.  All the greed, corruption , disease,  anger, hatred and jealousy began to assemble at Golgotha.  The skies became dark as the demons of violence, abuse, addiction, sourcery and arrogant pride swarmed to the cross on which Jesus was hanging and began to settle on Him with all their evil filth and slime.   From the future came the plague , the holocaust, Hiroshima , acts of terrorism, child abuse, AIDS,  pornography, blackmail, torture, cancer ,every wicked and depraved act which man has ever devised and committed - all of it swirled and swarmed into the almost lifeless body of The Christ. cutting Him off from the love of His father, drowning Him in evil and sin.

The skies became dark with the evil of the moment and finally Jesus yelled like a drowning man speaking His last word with every ounce of strength He could muster ' FORGIVE'.   And then He is overwhelmed.  God decides that it is enough and allows death to take Him.  Jesus leaves His body on the cross and His spirit is dragged down into hell where Satan is presumably throwing the mother of all parties.  They have Him.  He has been defeated.  God has relinquished His own Son to the power of death and death now has Him forever in its grip.

We dont know what happened on Saturday.  We only get the very briefest of hints about what might have been going on in hell that day when Jesus turned the tables on Satan, took the keys of death away from him, placed His feet on the neck of the devil and pronounced him finally and eternally defeated.  

“For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit, by whom also He went and preached to the spirits in prison, who formerly were disobedient, when once the Divine long-suffering waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight souls, were saved through water” (1 Peter 3:18–20).

Jesus said to the thief on the cross that they would be together in paradise ' today'  - so perhaps the defeat of Satan was instantaneous and Jesus was in heaven in the twinkling of an eye, the enemy defeated even as He was taking His last breath.  Perhaps Jesus took His time - it doesnt really matter much to me.  What matters is that on Friday, Jesus always knew that Sunday was coming.   On the cross, suffocating under the weight of every sin ever committed in the history of the world, Jesus saw the joy of salvation on the horizon and focused on that.   How great must that joy be if it enabled Jesus to go through all of that.

Day 45. - who is in you

Trawling Facebook yesterday I came across this sixty second clip and it really made me think

 https://www.facebook.com/IncrediblenatureY/videos/1836586679886833/    ( dont read the comments - they are not relevant to the point Im making today :) )

Did that bring a Bible verse to mind??

1 Peter 5 :8

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

I dont know about you, but whenever Ive thought about that verse in the past Ive seen the lion as the more powerful agent in the equation.   However, that wee puppy puts things in perspective doesn't he?   He perhaps represents you and I.   We might be small, we might be young, we might look as though we couldnt stand up to a lion......... but we are focused, fierce and fearless and we can defend ourselves quite nicely against the prowling lion.  It seems unlikely.  But it is clearly true. 

SO the moral of the story today is.... if you can feel the lion lurking at your doorway, if fear and darkness are encroaching dont cower in a corner.  Come out all guns blazing, dressed in the armour of God, armed with the sword of the spirit, barking like a maniac and tell him where to go :)  He who is in you is MUCH greater than he who is in the world.   

Day 44 - heaven

Yesterday I woke up with a headache.  This is never good. It usually means that Im headed for an all day migraine.  But I had to work so I got up, took a couple of Paracetemol and went off to do my last two Jo Jingles classes of term.  Came home with head still thumping and went to bed.  Slept for an hour but when I woke up the head was worse.  I had to take Ben to his guitar lesson and walk the dogs and make the tea - but after that I got into a really really hot bath.

As I slipped under the surface of an almost unbearably hot tub I felt instantly eased and relaxed.  There really is nothing better is there?   98% of the time I shower because its easier and quicker - but on days when I just need a proper deep relax the bath is just the job.  It reminded me of the feeling of getting into a newly made bed.  All clean and crisp and tucked in and super comforting.  It also reminded me of being in the womb.

When Sam was born my waters broke at home.  Hilariously ( and because he was the first born and you do all sorts of ridiculous things when you are expecting your first baby) I had put a plastic sheet on my bed just in case my waters broke in the night.  I was lying in bed in the early evening, Sam was ten days overdue and I was supposed to be going into hospital to be induced the next day, when POP!  my waters broke ( there really was a popping sound!)  To my utter surprise gallons of hot water suddenly gushed out onto the bed.  And because there was a plastic sheet underneath me that water had nowhere to go, so I found myself sitting in a lake of hot water!  😊  I yelped in surprise and Keith came running in.  He helped me off the bed and all the water ran straight onto the floor !  Hee hee hee.  It really was very funny.   But the thing I remember most of all was the fact that the water that Sam had been floating around in for nearly ten months was so warm.   Obviously, when you think about it, its going to be body temperature isnt it?  Which is really much warmer than you would imagine.   Lying in my hot hot bath yesterday evening I thought about how wonderful it is to be immersed in warmth.  It must be nice for baby to be floating in a constant temperature in the dark with Mum's heartbeat for company.    I wonder if heaven is like that.

Billy Conolly once said that he thought heaven would be like custard.  Warm and thick and yellow  .  I suspect he might be right

When the Glory of God is seen in the Bible it usually knocks people off their feet.  In the temple the weight of God's glory was such that the people couldnt stand to minister.  If You have even been put on the floor by God you might have a sense of what that feels like.  You could move - you just dont want to.  Because you are suddenly being overshadowed by the presence of the Most High.  Shrouded by the Holy Spirit.  Under the weight.  It is a glorious place to be.   Heaven is full of the glory of God, full of light and warmth.  I can't help but feel that it will be like being in a hot bath ( of custard? 😋) totally relaxing, completely safe, gloriously comforting, yet also invigorating and healing and holy.

When I got out of my bath yesterday the headache had gone.  I felt like a new person.  Not only was I considerably cleaner than when I went in, my aches and pains had been washed away and my mind was pondering heaven.

Jesus died to buy us all a ticket to heaven.  He paid such a huge price for you and I to be able to get there and experience all the wonders that an eternity with God have to offer.  We cant begin to imagine what it will be like.  We have no concept of how awesome God is or how much He loves us.  But we can be thankful here and now that because of what He has done for us we are going to find out one day pretty soon!

Day 43 - exhortation

Yesterday was about kindness.  Today is about encouragement.

'Arent they the same thing ? ' I hear you cry

No. I dont think so.  Although they can sometimes look very similar.

Yesterday I went to visit my pal Denise.  We pray together every week ( recent thing which has turned out to be exceedingly amazing - answered prayers all over the place!)  and we also paint together on a regular basis.  Yesterday was a praying day so we took some time to chat over the people and situations we wanted to pray for, then we prayed and then, at the end, Denise said ...  ' Ive got something for you'  and she produced a card which she had made for me.  On it was a picture which she felt God had given her for me along with an interpretation which she had written down in a notebook.

It is a very very long time since anyone has given me a prophetic word.  I was really blessed by the thought that she had been praying for me, had taken the time to listen to what God said and write it down, then paint it onto a card and share it with me.  How lovely was that? !    The word she gave me wasnt a flowery sugary ; God-is-nice-and-He-likes-you' word.   It was challenging because it touched on the place where I am at with God just now and mentioned various things which Denise didnt know I had been thinking about but which are currently on my mind.  Her word did not say that everything is going to come up roses.  But it did indicate to me that God knows where I am.  He sees the reality and wants to encourage me to move on from here to the next place.

Kindness prays.  Kindness says nice things from a position of caring.  But exhortation is not afraid to put a gentle toe to the backside because it wants to push someone forward to be a better version of themself.   Exhortation is someone standing just that bit further along the road, yelling encouragement to the one coming along behind.  Shouting ' you can do it!'   And sometimes pushing from behind with a ruthless determination to get the very best out of the person who just wants to sit down by the side of the road and rest.   Exhortation sees what God sees in somebody and calls it out. It is not afraid of rejection or being misunderstood because it recognises that its all about the other person and not about the self.

I like watching those fat to fit programmes on the telly where a personal trainer works with a morbidly obese person for a year and tortures them with an impossible exercise and diet regime until they have lost half their body weight and end up getting their life back.  It can be a really brutal process.  But there always seems to be a lot of love between trainer and fat person.  The success of the whole thing depends on there being trust and respect and genuine affection between the parties otherwise it just doesnt work.   I think this is how God works with us.   He knows all that we can be and He is determined to get us there.  He needs us to love and trust Him so that when He shouts at us to get off our backsides and work hard we dont feel bullied and harassed.   We need Him to understand that it is hard for us and that sometimes we are just going to have to have a good cry and a piece of cake before we get up and start again.  Its a partnership.  It is tough love.  But it is really good.

I need my friends to encourage me from time to time.  It is especially good when they tune into the encouraging heart of God and give me both barrels of whatever it is that He has for me.  I want to be that person for my friends too .  Seeing past the familiarity and complacent knowing, and building on the trust and love to push them forward into more of God.

Sorry.  Couldnt resis this  :) 

Day 42 - kindness

A really nice thing happened yesterday.

I went to the garage to pay the mechanic who fixed up my car for its MOT and Keiths car with something or other that needed doing.  The mechanic is a christian.  Young guy with a young family, hardworking and always really busy because he is totally reliable and doesnt charge what he could be charging for doing a good job.    As I was writing a cheque he was asking how we were doing , especially mentioning Keith as he had always serviced Keiths Mums car and had been saddened to hear of her death in February.

I was chatting away telling him about whats going on with us and I happened to mention that Sam is going to Moldova with an Exodus team in July.   Exodus is well known to church people round our way as it sends teams of school kids all over Europe and further afield on short mission trips over the summer.  Kids get to go and work with orphanages or on building programmes or running summer schemes.  If they go back year on year they work their way up into leadership of the teams.  its a great experience and this year Sam is finally old enough to go.   Part of the team preparation is a
commitment to raise at least £200 to pay for resources which the teams take with them to bless host churches etc.   I just mentioned in passing that Sam is going to have to start thinking hard about fundraising over the next few weeks.  And Ray immediately put his hand in his pocket, pulled out a note and gave it to me saying ' Here, give him that to start him off'.

I was SO blessed.  It was such a spontaneous act of generosity and kindness from someone who really doesnt know us very well but who is part of this big mad crazy family of God.  He wanted to bless and encourage Sam in his mission trip - but he ended up blessing me too.  And Keith when we got home and told him about it.   It wasn't about the money ( although that was fabulous too), it was about the kindness.  It blew me away .  I shall be smiling for a week

Im sure Ray had no idea that his small gesture touched us all so deeply.  He would be embarrassed if he knew because he certainly was not looking for any sort of recognition or praise.  He just wanted to help out.   And that made me reflect that its probably been quite a while since Ive helped someone out.  Since Ive just seen a need and been able to meet it in some way or another and have lent a hand for no gain to myself.   I should be kind more often.   Its a good thing to be and it is fundamental to who Jesus is so it should be fundamental to who I am too.

I remember last year I was driving up the dual carriageway and I saw a lady broken down by the side of the road.  She was on her phone standing by the car so I pulled over and asked if she was OK.  She said that she was waiting for the towtruck to come because something horrible had gone wrong with the car and then she mentioned that she had been on her way to take her daughter to a piano exam in Dromore.   The daughter was sitting in the car looking fed up.   I asked what time the exam was and she said in half an hours time.  I told the lady that I knew where the exam center was as my boys go there, that I was happy to take her daughter to the exam whilst she waited for the tow truck and that I would bring her back after the exam was done.   The lady was delighted, the daughter was relieved.  It took an hour out of my day but made a huge difference to them.  We didnt even exchange names!!   I was just there at the right time - as God clearly had arranged it - and was happy to help out.

Being helpful and kind can really really make a difference.  As you will doubtless know if you have been on the receiving end of someones kindness.  It doesnt need to be a big gesture.  Sometimes its the smallest things which can be significant.  That extra ten pence for the parking meter.  The person letting you out of a tricky junction.  The person with the huge trolley full of shopping letting you go in front of them in the queue.  The lift offered to someone who is struggling with heavy bags in the pouring rain.  Kindness oils the wheels of life and we could all do with more of it.

Be kind to someone today.

Day 41 - The 'no' of God

Something someone said yesterday set me off on a specific line of thought  - a line which hasnt reached any conclusion as yet but hopefully might become clearer as I write.  The thought was this.  At what point do you stop believing that the enemy is putting roadblocks in your way, or that you just need to pray longer and harder and accept that God is saying no?

I think that having been a Christian for a couple of decades I've kind of got the hang of what faith feels and looks like.  I know when a ' gift of faith' arrives in my heart .  I just get this unshakeable conviction about whatever it is that Im praying or believing for.  I know that its going to happen.  Despite the circumstances or whatever - its just there inside me all of a sudden.  A deep knowing that God is saying yes.    But Im not so sure about the opposite - when God says no.   Well, actually that's not entirely true.   I've quite often known that someone was going to die when everyone around me has been faithfully praying for healing and miracles.  ( That's not to say that I havent prayed for them to be healed - but it does make it difficult to find the right words when inside there is a knowing that this will end in death. )  This doesnt happen all the time.  When my friend Angie was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years ago I was really convinced that God was going to heal her.  He didnt.
But that's not quite the same thing as God saying no to something which isnt a matter of life and death.

Let's say you are praying for a new job opportunity.  You are stressed and miserable at work and you are applying for new jobs.  Praying like crazy that a new door will open.   After how many job interviews which you dont get, do you stop applying and embrace the fact that perhaps God wants you to stay put??  Or the single woman who has always wanted children and has prayed for years for a husband.   But he has not appeared, and now the time is past.    I suppose its like Paul and his thorn in the flesh.   He prayed and prayed but at some point he came to the realisation that God wasnt going to take it away.  Or Jesus in Gethsemane.  Let this cup pass me by.  Your will be done.   Sometimes it is clear that the answer is no.    But how can we tell that it is a no from God and not the battling of the enemy?  When to persist in prayer and when to sit down under the hand of God?

I suppose we need discernment.  Perhaps we need to stop every now and again and ask God if we should be continuing to pray and act in faith or if He is in fact saying no.   It is hard, because so often

the things we are praying for are really really important to us.  We desperately want to be married, to have a baby, to get that better job,  for the prodigals to come home right now,  to be healed, to have the opportunity to use our gifts, to be noticed in church, to break into a certain friendship group.   But perhaps that's not God's plan for us.  And if it's not then all the energy and effort we put into praying and waiting and hoping is..... well.... in vain.

Jesus only asked God once ( as far as we know) for the cup to pass Him by.   After He had prayed that prayer He seems to be content that God has said no.  But that God has also equipped Him to deal with that no.   Which should give us comfort and courage in our ' no' situations.   Jesus knows what its like when God turns down our requests.  He is our prime example of what it can look like to face the thing we really dont want to be happening to us with grace and courage and love.  Jesus isnt angry with God.  He doesnt argue and rant and rage.  He accepts the will of God, bows His knee, embraces His destiny and does what needs to be done.  For the joy set before Him....

Maybe that's the key.  Paul and Jesus both knew what was ahead of them.  They knew that this life is temporary and fleeting and that the rewards of the next so outweigh anything we might think we need or want here.  How much more will He give us love and opportunity and recognition and family and gifts in heaven?   Our priorities here will seem ridiculous when we get there.

Day 40 - Old friends

I just want to take today to think about my friends.  And to be thankful for them.  Because without them life would be more difficult, less fun, more lonely and less purposeful.   I have got a couple of friends who go way back to the start of secondary school,  a good handful who I met at university and then one or two special people who joined my journey in my adult life.   Each person holds a part of my history.   There are only one or two people outside my close family who remember my stepfather.   Those are the people who shared my school experiences.  They remember what I was like when I was a teenager and went through lots of teenage angst with me.   ( We used to sit and cry to Simon and Garfunkel records and David Bowie's Hunky Dory 😊)   They know the town in which I grew up and they spent hours in my house so they know my Mum really well.    People who came along after that have a different experience of me.   They know the me who had left home.   They dont know my family as well, or the place I grew up.   But they shared the ups and downs of University life - the parties, the late night philosophical debates, the state of being permanently broke.   We did plays together.  We walked on the beach endlessly  ( St Andrews University)  some of them I met at church when I was a baby Christian just setting out - excited but unpredictable and a bit wild! These friends were there as I was becoming an adult - some of the most glorious and difficult of times.

As we get older I think for most of us making friends becomes more difficult.  Certainly each time I have moved to a new location I have found it more difficult to make those significant, deep friendships.   I was so blessed when I moved to Edinburgh to find myself sharing a flat with Emma - who subsequently moved with me when I bought my own house.  We lived together for several years and , despite being completely different from each other in every conceivable way, formed a heart and soul bond which we each cherish hugely.   Added bonus - she ended up marrying one of my besties from Uni  😊

Moving to Northern Ireland was really really hard.  I was in my mid thirties and I didnt know anyone. It took me a long time to find some like minded people with whom I clicked and who ' got me'.  It was a lonely time.  I missed my pals.   Whenever I did get to see them it was really bitter sweet.  It was amazing to reconnect but it made the parting all the more difficult.   But over the years I have made some good friends here - each one is different and none of them share the history that school and Uni friends have with me.   But new friends have brought new things into my life.  One of them is a worship leader who just ' clicks' with me in worship.  And that instantly takes the relationship to depths that it would take years to achieve otherwise.   One is a prophetic friend.  We have a creative friendship - we paint together and she sparks things off in me which lead to all sorts of artistic happenings.    Over here English people tend to gravitate towards each other  and I have a lovely friend from Leicester who shares a lot of laughs with me about the oddities of living in Northern Ireland.   We make each other laugh and there's something just a teeny bit liberating about being able to be 100% English with her.   ( Over here people think Im posh because I have an English accent! )

I wonder what it is that makes a good friend?  Why is it that we like some people and just dont gel with others?  I think perhaps it has to do with our own willingness to be vulnerable.  It has to do with trust.  And definitely a shared sense of humour.   But at the end of the day I suspect that it is a gift.   God knows who we need and when we need them.  He puts people across our path at various stages of our lives.  Some people are instant soul mates.  Others are partners in a venture or helpers for a season.  But they are all a gift from our good good Father.  I tend to take my friends for granted.  Expect that they will always be there, will always be my friends, will never fall out with me or drop dead or drift out of my life.   So if you are reading this and I havent told you in a while - I really like you!!   Im really glad you are in my life.  Knowing you is making me a more complete me.  You give me things which only you can give and Im so thankful to God for bringing you across my path in whatever way He did.   Even if I dont know you on a deep and meaningful level I still really appreciate your friendship.  And Im especially thankful for this internet medium which allows us to keep in touch over time zones and geographical boundaries. 

Now go and kiss your friends today and tell them how great they are  😍

Day 39 - remote control

I cant find the remote control .   Every day I set it in the same place and it is always right where it is supposed to be.  Until someone comes along and moves it .  Grrrrrrrr.   I recently resorted to tying it to the radiator on a long piece of string - which does work really well.  Until some bright spark decides, for reasons I cant quite fathom, that they need to detach it from the string to..... well..... to what?  What other uses can one find for a remote control except to point it at the telly?  In which case it needs to be near the telly.  Not in another room.  Or on the kitchen table.  Or under the sofa.

I have wasted years of my life looking for lost remotes.  ( well, a good few weeks at any rate)

Today I came home from a long and busy day and was all set to slob out in front of whatever nonsense is on the box and....... no remote.

Anyhow.... that all got me to thinking about a topic Ive covered before in one of my blogs - control.  And how we often exert it on people without really even being aware we are doing it.

The Bible is pretty clear that there is only one person who is in control - and that's God.   We are to be in control of ourselves and leave Him to sort out everyone else.   So whenever we try to manipulate, influence, flatter, seduce, argue, persuade. force, someone else to do the thing we want them to do we are stepping outside the boundaries God sets for us.

Its tricky isnt it?  Because life is all about negotiation and compromise and working in relationship with others to get the job done.  But I think we all know when the general give and take of life suddenly becomes all take and no give.  When you feel you dare not move or speak at work for fear of losing your job.  When you have to tiptoe round people on eggshells so that you dont upset them.  We all know how it feels to be expected to do something we dont really want to do by someone who exerts just that bit more power or influence than we do.   Or when we realise that the person we thought genuinely cared about us was just flattering and cajoling in order to get something from us.
Being manipulated is not nice.  It makes us feel used and worthless.  

Whilst thinking about the subject of control I came across this

and I suppose this gets the the bottom of it all.   In the same way that privacy is a gift and secrecy is a theft ( see previous blog)  control relies on taking things from people.  Jesus came to bring freedom, truth, life, peace, hope and relationship.   He did not come to control us but to love us.  Which sometimes involves letting us go wrong.  Sometimes He lets us not do the thing He wants us to do but  He loves us anyway.  If we are like Jesus then we will react to others in the way He reacts to us.  We will want their good above our own and will never deceive,  pervert, or poison the other just to get our own way.   You might think that you never do any of those things and that this doesnt apply to you.   But I challenge you to think about how you relate to your spouse, your parents, your kids , your church leaders, your boss, your friends.......   How many times do you sulk when you dont get your own way?  Silent treatment.  Arguments and door slamming.  Subtle hints and withholding of favours.  Sucking up and flattery.  Outright lies.  Avoidance and evasion.  Planning and scheming.   We all do at least some of these regularly.   And when we do we are acting like the puppet masters pulling someones strings.   Not good.   Let's try not to do that to other people.  And where we see it happening in our own lives lets bring it to Jesus and ask Him to release us from ties that bind so that He and He alone can be in control of our lives and our destinies

Day 38 - laughter

Ive just had a text from a friend which made me laugh out loud.   Not because she said anything particularly funny, but just because of the timing and the context and the fact that she knows me well.   Yesterday several people posted ridiculous things on Facebook which also made me laugh.  Laughter is good.  Healing somehow.  Last week Josh got a fit of the giggles and couldnt stop and that made me get the giggles too.  The pair of us were sitting with tears running down our faces not really knowing what we were laughing about.  It was just really really funny.

A few years ago I remember one of the boys asking me why I never smiled.   There was a period of a couple of years when I genuinely dont think I ever laughed.  Life was weighing me down - I now realise I was suffering from depression - and there was just nothing to smile about.  I felt as though I was under a thick cloud all the time.  I couldnt remember what the sun looked or felt like.    But gradually, thanks to medication and some ' friend therapy' I began to be able to see the funny side again.

Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.

God has designed us to laugh because He is a laughing God.   He laughs at His enemies - ( Ive always thought that this laugh is a sort of derisory snort - a sarcastic smile.  But actually I wonder if it is not more that He actually finds the very notion of anyone being His ' enemy' hilarious)   Psalm 16;11 says that in the presence of God there is fullness of joy .  This can only be because God Himself is JOY.  He laughs and giggles alot and has an awesome sense of humour.  When you get to know Him well, you start to hear His jokes all the time.  He is really good at word play.  He also loves visual humour.  Just ask Him to show you how funny He is.  Seriously.  You will have a smile on your face all day.


Looking through Google images in an attempt to find some though provoking pictures to go with this terribly serious subject I found this.  Which just made me roar  

and that got me searching for more.  And before you know it Im laughing my head off and everyone is wondering what Im up to.   The moral of the story is - it's good to laugh.  If you havent laughed for a while, make a conscious effort to find something which will cheer you up.  Watch some of the daft things your friends post on social media.  Get your kids to tell you their favourite joke. Go out for coffee with your favourite funny friend.  Life can be so serious at times but we all benefit hugely from having a laugh.  May God richly bless you with all the humour of heaven today xx

day 37 - women

Im really not sure why this is on my mind today - but it is, and I feel that it is what I should be writing about - so maybe it is for someone out there reading this.

Over years of going to church meetings I've been to dozens and dozens of ' ladies' events.  Everything from women only housegroups to conferences and residential weekends away.  I have absolutely nothing against these gatherings - there is definitely a different atmosphere when women meet together and its good to be able to take time with each other to bless and encourage and teach and learn.   But one thing which drives me mad is the assumption that as a woman I have low self esteem , am lacking in confidence and need God to reassure me all the time.  I don't.

I'm longing for the day when a women's group sits down to look at how we can all be Deborahs or Jaels or Esthers.   How we can take our ordinary lives and become extraordinarily influential women in our nation.  How we can strike terror into the hearts of our enemies and be so known for our wisdom and righteous judgements that leaders and rulers seek us out for our counsel.  I've never attended a ladies day which has this sort of focus.  😊  I've been to plenty which talk about how we need to have a greater sense of self worth and not beat ourselves up about being too busy to pray.

Most women mentioned in the Bible were awesome.  Given the cultural restrictions of their day they
made such a huge impact that they got a mention in the writings which became Scripture - ( written by men for men to read. )   I was thinking about Ruth this week - what a woman!  Hard working, brave, compassionate, loyal, determined and wise.  She didn't have to take care of her mother - in - law , but she chose to, and as a result ended up in a field of strangers doing back breaking work in the heat of the day just to put food on the table.  She wasn't too proud to take her mother-in-law's advice, she was fit enough to do the hard physical labour , she was canny enough to realise that Boaz was a good catch.  She was lovely enough to come to his attention and obedient enough to come under his authority.  Ultimately she got a mention in the genealogy of Jesus.  Even though she was a foreigner.


Women in the Bible come in all shapes and sizes.  Some are born Queens, most are not.  Some are faithful, prayerful, devoted ladies with hearts after God.  Others are prostitutes and outcasts and sinners.   But so many of them change the course of history when they encounter God and His people. Many of them do it through being mothers - bringing into the world, and then bringing up, men who will be leaders and rulers and kings.   But some of them do mighty exploits for God themselves.   I want to be one of those women who is not constantly apologising for existing.  Not ashamed, or afraid or self- absorbed.   Give me a tent peg and an enemy to slaughter.  Give me an army to lead, a nation to save, a church to plant, a miracle to witness.......

And to the men reading this.....

Don't underestimate the God who promises to be within me at break of day.  Because of Him I will not fall.  Neither will you.   Together we've got this!

Day 36 - Easter semantics

The National Trust Easter egg hunt has apparently been demoted to an egg hunt this year.  ( If you get the chance to go to one you should - we went a couple of years ago and the kids came home with bucket loads of chocolate 😋 )   There has been the usual furore - even down to the Prime Minister appearing on the news to say that Easter should remain Easter and that it is ridiculous to try to remove that word from this time of year.    And every year at Christmas we get the same old social media posts and news items trotted out about Winterval and Happy Holidays instead of Christ being associated with the season.

I suppose there are two arguments to be made.   One is that there is a sure and steady erosion of anything Christian in our western societies.  We bend over backwards to accommodate other religions and to be politically correct and yet we dont fight too hard for our own corner and allow secularism to push us out of the picture.   The second is that Easter and Christmas are both festivals which have been hijacked by the world anyway - getting upset about the ' branding' is missing the point.  We should be far more concerned with preaching the gospel and reaching the lost than we are about stressing that Coca Cola are wishing us Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.   I confess I have some sympathy with both sides.  I have no wish to see Easter and Christmas vanish from our culture as national holidays and opportunities for the christian church to have a platform.   Equally I am not particularly minded to jump up and down and shout about the National Trust or Cadbury when they hit the news like they have this week.

It is sad that Lent has become about dieting,  Easter has become a chocolate-fest and Christmas is a debt fuelled spending marathon  - except that it hasnt.  Not in our house.   In our house we don't really talk about Lent.  We will go to church on Good Friday and Easter Sunday and will probably attend the baptisms on Easter Sunday evening.  We shall give the boys Easter eggs , but they will understand that we are celebrating the greatest event in the history of the world and that a bit of chocolate is a good way to do that.  At Christmas time we talk alot as a family about the giving of gifts and not just the getting of them.  We try to think about those less fortunate than ourselves and to remember that we are celebrating Jesus's birthday.   I like to think that we pick some of the nice things out of the ' culture' of the Christian festivals we celebrate.   But we take it deeper..... as Im sure most of you do too.   

Every time a person is introduced to Jesus and comes to the amazing realisation that He took the punishment that was due to them and has swapped it for His eternal life, then Easter and Christmas suddenly move from being about chocolate and presents to being so much more.   We dont need to worry about corporations and marketing executives using or not using certain words to sell their products.  We just need to get out there and show people who Jesus is.   So that they can celebrate His birth and His victory over death first and foremost in their own lives  - the real Christmas and Easter happen every time someone receives Him as Lord.

Day 35 - resilience

This is my Gerbera.  I bought it last year at a discount as it was the last one on the shelf and a bit dried out needing some TLC.  I watered it and put it in the sunshine and it grew a lovely flower.  But  after a few weeks the flower died and then it got pushed to the back of the windowledge and I sort of forgot about it.  When I rediscovered it it had all but died.  There were about two leaves left on it and they were really brown.  I was pretty sure Id killed it, but I gave it some water and the two dead leaves revived just a fraction.   It sat on the windowledge all winter looking a bit sad.  But I watered it occasionally and then - lo and behold- a few weeks ago I noticed it starting to look  as though it was actually growing.

Despite the thorough neglect it has experienced it has bloomed again.   As I looked at it this morning the word  ' resilience' came to mind.

God has built resilience into so much of the natural world.   The trees are made to bend in the wind.  The animals hibernate over winter and survive without food.   There are seeds which can lie dormant in the ground for years or decades waiting for just the right conditions in order for them to be able to sprout.  Weeds can grow through concrete.   God has made this world robust, tenacious, flexible, resilient

He has made you like that too

 You can survive so much more than you think you can.  Just look back over your life.  You have probably been through experiences which seemed impossible at the time.  You possibly thought you would never survive the bereavement, divorce, injury, betrayal, disappointment, rejection, failure, redundancy.... whatever it was.   But look !  You are still here.  You survived.  More than that, you moved on, recovered, thrived even.    Or, if you arent quite into the thriving again phase, then at least the event didnt finish you off.  Because you have resilience built into you and you will bloom again.




If things are tough just now, if you feel set aside at the back of the shelf - unwatered and ignored, almost dead through neglect...... take heart.  The smallest amount of watering by the Holy Spirit will bring you back from the brink and lead you to flower again.  You may not bloom overnight,  But when you do you will be every bit as beautiful as you were last time you flowered :)   And that has nothing at all to do with what a great plant you are.  It has everything to do with how you were created.  Strength and purpose and beauty are built into the very fibre of your being.   You are awesome.  Dont forget it.

Day 34 - humble

Over the weekend I was at a prophetic conference.  It was good.   It reminded me of days gone by when I used to attend these things regularly.  We had to give words to the people next to us - and there was lots of teaching about character over gift etc etc

In the middle of the day something reminded me of a powerful word which Alan Vincent gave in Edinburgh way back in the 1990s.   ( I think it was A. V.)  He said he saw the Sword of the Lord, dripping with oil and it was being passed back and forth over a room full of people.  Those who were kneeling with their faces on the floor just heard the swish as it passed over their heads and felt the oil dripping on them.  Anyone who was standing up would get their heads chopped off.    If you were there you will remember that word because it was sobering and challenging but so full of Holy Spirit promise.

Yesterday evening in a different context the whole thing of kneeling and humility came up again.  Twice in two days has to be more than co-incidence.

Maintaining a posture of humility is not easy.   As I get older I see more and more places in my life where entitlement seems to have crept in.  I think that I see myself as a relative expert in some things nowadays - just because Ive been on the road for a while.  During the prophetic conference over the weekend I heard myself saying ' yeah, yeah, I know all this.... heard it before'   which is such an arrogant approach isnt it?   As though I  a) cant see anything new or learn something from anyone else and b) am living in the fullness of everything I have heard before over all the years.    As if.  The fact is that I have had decades worth of great teaching and am actually living out about half a percent of it.   If anyone should have their face in the dust its me .

Interesting point brought out in last nights teaching on humility was that it is not about shame.  We are good at beating ourselves up, feeling guilty, blaming ourselves and squirming in the dust. Humility is not about any of that.  Kneeling before the Lord is about an accurate assessment of where we are at, in the light of who He is.  It is a surrender of all of us in order that we can be filled with the fullness of all of Him.  It is a posture of service and a place of receiving.

Funnily enough I spend quite a lot of time on my knees in my job.  I work with little people and most days I can be found crawling around on the floor just so I can get down to their level.  As a result I go through rather more pairs of trousers than would be normal for a woman my age 😊  And my knees are somewhat toughened - I have to put hand lotion on them to stop the skin being like leather !  Theres a cost involved in being on your knees.  It can be sore.  But if that's where the anointing is then I guess its the only place to be.

Day 33 - creativity

Driving into Lisburn yesterday I was struck by the floral displays that the council have put round the bottom of street signs and in various containers, roundabouts etc in public places.   They all look so pretty at this time of year when flowers are coming into bloom and the sun is shining.

It made me start thinking about creativity and how we human beings seem to have a real need to decorate and create even though there is no hard practical purpose for art and culture.  Way back into the very earliest times people have been painting on walls and making statues and jewellery - purely for decorative purposes.  We like to reproduce things that we see.  We like to make things beautiful.  We like to put our own individual stamp on the places we live and work.   Why?

God is super creative.  And because we are made in His image we are too.  But maybe it is about a bit more than that.  Maybe expressing our creativity makes us more of who we are supposed to be and more like Him.  Perhaps there is something inside us all which needs to be expressed.  And which can't be expressed in words - or maybe can be expressed much better not merely in words. 

I smile when I think of Jesus being born into a carpenter's family.  He must have learned Joseph's trade as a young man and worked with wood for most of His life.  Im sure He spent long hours

making buckets and tables and chairs and doors.  But Im certain that He will also have made objects of beauty just for the sake of being creative.  I bet Mary had a house full of carved nicknacks Jesus had made for her.   Can you imagine what a plate or a jug or an ornament carved by the creator of the universe would be like?

I know lots of people who claim that they dont have a creative bone in their body.  But Im certain that this cant be true.  Somewhere inside all of us is a deep desire to make, create, invent, imagine.... perhaps those people have not been given permission to discover their creative language.  Perhaps they have just never given it a go.

Easter is a great opportunity for us to be creative.  We can make an Easter bonnet with the kids,  make a cake, create a greetings card,  find an inventive way to give an Easter egg.   Maybe your thing is computers  - why not photoshop together something meaningful with images and music and words and post it on social media?   Write a song or a poem or a sketch.  Arrange some spring flowers as a centrepiece for your table. Take some photographs.  Mow the lawn in satisfying stripes.  Have a go at cooking something new.  Paint a picture.🎨   Whittle something out of wood.  Or go to the beach and build an Andy Goldsworthy-esque sculpture out of stones and driftwood .    When we do these things something in us comes a bit more alive.  If we offer our imaginings to God we might just manage to create something much more life affirming and joyful than we could possibly imagine.  And we shall have fun doing it.