Something someone said yesterday set me off on a specific line of thought - a line which hasnt reached any conclusion as yet but hopefully might become clearer as I write. The thought was this. At what point do you stop believing that the enemy is putting roadblocks in your way, or that you just need to pray longer and harder and accept that God is saying no?
I think that having been a Christian for a couple of decades I've kind of got the hang of what faith feels and looks like. I know when a ' gift of faith' arrives in my heart . I just get this unshakeable conviction about whatever it is that Im praying or believing for. I know that its going to happen. Despite the circumstances or whatever - its just there inside me all of a sudden. A deep knowing that God is saying yes. But Im not so sure about the opposite - when God says no. Well, actually that's not entirely true. I've quite often known that someone was going to die when everyone around me has been faithfully praying for healing and miracles. ( That's not to say that I havent prayed for them to be healed - but it does make it difficult to find the right words when inside there is a knowing that this will end in death. ) This doesnt happen all the time. When my friend Angie was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years ago I was really convinced that God was going to heal her. He didnt.
But that's not quite the same thing as God saying no to something which isnt a matter of life and death.
Let's say you are praying for a new job opportunity. You are stressed and miserable at work and you are applying for new jobs. Praying like crazy that a new door will open. After how many job interviews which you dont get, do you stop applying and embrace the fact that perhaps God wants you to stay put?? Or the single woman who has always wanted children and has prayed for years for a husband. But he has not appeared, and now the time is past. I suppose its like Paul and his thorn in the flesh. He prayed and prayed but at some point he came to the realisation that God wasnt going to take it away. Or Jesus in Gethsemane. Let this cup pass me by. Your will be done. Sometimes it is clear that the answer is no. But how can we tell that it is a no from God and not the battling of the enemy? When to persist in prayer and when to sit down under the hand of God?
I suppose we need discernment. Perhaps we need to stop every now and again and ask God if we should be continuing to pray and act in faith or if He is in fact saying no. It is hard, because so often
the things we are praying for are really really important to us. We desperately want to be married, to have a baby, to get that better job, for the prodigals to come home right now, to be healed, to have the opportunity to use our gifts, to be noticed in church, to break into a certain friendship group. But perhaps that's not God's plan for us. And if it's not then all the energy and effort we put into praying and waiting and hoping is..... well.... in vain.
Jesus only asked God once ( as far as we know) for the cup to pass Him by. After He had prayed that prayer He seems to be content that God has said no. But that God has also equipped Him to deal with that no. Which should give us comfort and courage in our ' no' situations. Jesus knows what its like when God turns down our requests. He is our prime example of what it can look like to face the thing we really dont want to be happening to us with grace and courage and love. Jesus isnt angry with God. He doesnt argue and rant and rage. He accepts the will of God, bows His knee, embraces His destiny and does what needs to be done. For the joy set before Him....
Maybe that's the key. Paul and Jesus both knew what was ahead of them. They knew that this life is temporary and fleeting and that the rewards of the next so outweigh anything we might think we need or want here. How much more will He give us love and opportunity and recognition and family and gifts in heaven? Our priorities here will seem ridiculous when we get there.
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