Day 30 - grace

On Tuesday night I watched the programme about footballer Rio Ferdinand and how he is coping with the grief of having lost his wife to breast cancer last year.  It was a very moving documentary and he was so open and honest talking about his fears of opening up and talking about his feelings.
 He was scared for his three young children and didnt know if he was doing a good enough job in helping them to process their feelings.  He was well supported by family and friends but still acknowledged how hard it was for him to ' do the work' of mourning.

Yesterday evening I was watching DIY SOS - a young woman went into hospital to have twins, suffered from a stroke and came home severely disabled.  Her young husband struggling so hard with twin babies, a house which was completely unsuitable for their needs, a wife who needs 24 hour care and the realisation that his best friend and life partner has gone.  Possibly, probably , forever.

All around us, all the time, people are suffering from monumental, life altering, tragic events.   In our church a young guy, newly married, went out on his motorbike before christmas.  He ended up in a coma for weeks and is now very very seriously disabled - unable to speak, walk, move much.  But still able to smile, understand and be a person loved by a young wife who now has a whole different path in front of her from the one she imagined just a few months ago.

It is tempting to think and say ' there but for the grace of God go I'  

But that is utter nonsense.   Did the grace of God not extend to Rio Ferdinand as his wife was dying?  Or to the countless young mothers struck down by illness or young men knocked off their motorbikes?    The grace of God is a gift entirely undeserved, unearned and free.  God can be nothing but gracious.  It is who He is.  His grace is every bit as active when times are tough as it is when we are living in the sunny uplands.  He is a good good Father.  All the time.   His grace , mercy, compassion and kindness are available to all in every circumstance.  We just have to draw near.   And how can people draw near if they don't know??


I think when we hear tragic stories of people going through awful times our first reaction can be to back away, give people space, fear saying the wrong thing,  worry about having to answer difficult questions.   But in times of crisis people really really need to know that

grace abounds.   They need to hear that God is right in it with them.  That He weeps with them , cares deeply and has a plan.  People need to know that there is grace to bear suffering and pain.  That life is about more than our physical bodies and their restrictions but that heaven is waiting where there is no more pain and suffering.   Rio Ferdinand doesnt know that.   He is not able to reassure his children that their Mummy is in heaven because he doesn't know that heaven exists.   He is alone and struggling with his grief because He has not been introduced to the Man of Sorrows who is acquainted with grief and can walk through it with him.

I love watching shows like DIY SOS, where people from a community come together to give practical help to complete strangers.  But the greatest help we can give anyone is to tell them about our gracious, kind, merciful God.   We fear rejection, but people in pain are suddenly free from all of the baggage of the mind.  They are focused on what is real.  They want to know truth.

SO I challenge you today - if you know someone who is suffering real trauma don't walk past on the other side.  Be brave and speak up.  Tell them that you are praying for them and that God is so willing to come alongside to carry them through.  Tell them how He has done that for you.  Reach out and embrace those who are grieving, in pain, traumatised.  Trust that God will give you the words.