Day 18 - turbulence

Flew over to England yesterday evening to spend the weekend with my Mum.  Took two of the three boys with me on a well travelled path which we have done lots and lots of times before.  Usually the hour long flight is entirely without incident..... but yesterday the weather was decidedly breezy and it made for a very uncomfortable last twenty minutes as the flight was descending towards Luton.

Im not good with turbulence.   I was sitting holding onto the seat in front with my eyes closed focusing on breathing and trying not to throw up.  Josh was sitting looking a bit grim - his main problem was that his ears were popping and feeling sore.  Ben, on the other hand,  was merrily playing games on his tablet seemingly entirely oblivious to the fact that the plane was being thrown about like a ship on stormy seas!!!   I seriously don't know how he could have been watching a video game when I had to keep my eyes closed to stop myself from feeling sick.  But then, that's life isnt it?  One persons turbulence is another persons ' what's the problem?'


Having had cause to reflect a little on the past, I can honestly say that one thing I have learned over the last fifteen years is that feelings, however turbulent, dont last.   The feelings of euphoria as one falls in love don't last.   Feelings of fear and anxiety about a new situation don't last - you do the new thing and a whole new set of feelings emerge.  Disappointments don't last.  Yes, sure, the event or person might always go down in your history as a disappointment - but your feelings about that person, place or thing will change over time until you can see them in a different light.  Misery might feel as if it is going to last forever, but it doesn't.  If you wait..... wait..... keep on waiting then feelings change.  Because feelings are fickle and  the heart cannot really be trusted.

It's funny, because in this day and age the world would tell us to ' follow our hearts'.  To trust ourselves and our own feelings.  If it feels right then it must be right.    But the Bible tells us the opposite.   How we feel about things isn't necessarily the way things really are.  How we feel about things might not be the truth.  We may be being deceived.  By our own hearts.

Ive spoken at length about depression in various blog posts - and one thing which having depression has taught me is that it is a lie.   I don't pretend to understand exactly what goes on when someone's brain gets overloaded and the feelings start on a downward spiral and suicidal thoughts rear their ugly head.  But Im sure its the work of the enemy - the father of lies.  How we feel when we are depressed is not the truth.  I cant explain it in a way which makes sense - because obviously when you are feeling those things they are very real to you at the time.  But next month or next year or next decade those feelings will have changed.  The circumstances might not have.  But the feelings will have.  Turbulence is horrible when you are going through it - but its merely weather.  An external buffeting.  through which you are travelling at hundreds of miles an hour and above or beneath which you will shortly emerge into clearer skies.

If you are going through turbulent times right now ( and let's face it, right now the whole world seems to be going through pretty turbulent times! ) then stay strapped in, hold on and set your course to go higher up.  Or set your course to come down to land.  Either way the turbulence will pass.  By its very nature it is transient.   And remember the 365 times in the Bible we are told not to fear.